We are delighted to announce a partnership with our new advisory board member Yanik Silver. Yanik is the founder of eight 7-figure home businesses and has authored or coauthored multiple best-selling books. Yanik’s success, and passion for having extraordinary experiences, inspired him to create a lifestyle out of supporting entrepreneurs to thrive while making great money, generating a huge social multiplier effect and having the best time imaginable while doing it.
Yanik devotes the majority of his time to building out his visions within the “Maverick Ecoverse” he founded. Check out MaverickDNA (http://maverickdna.com) to learn more about this audaciously world-changing movement.
Yanik’s lifetime goal is to connect visionary leaders and game changers to catalyze innovative business models and new ideas for solving 100 of the world’s most impactful issues by the year 2100. Leveraging business as a multiplier for good… co-creating something great. He is also determined to empower and enrich the lives of 1,000,000 entrepreneurs in 2015.
As a self-described “adventure junkie,” Yanik has found that his own life-changing experiences such as running with the bulls, flying MiG jets, HALO skydiving, exotic car rallies and Zero-Gravity flights have not expanded his limits but also led to breakthroughs in ideas, focus and business thinking. In between checking off items on his Ultimate Big Life List, he calls Potomac, Maryland home with his wife, Missy, and 2 mini maverick adventurers in the making, Zack & Zoe.
Check out Yanik’s latest blog How Entrepreneurship Can Be The Ultimate Expression of Love to learn more about the passion this man has for an entrepreneurial culture of social innovation and the benefits it has for every one of us.
Learn more about Yanik’s personal life by visiting http://yaniksilver.com.
Everyone wants to be liked and accepted, but many of us spend too much time and energy worrying about what other people think. You might not even realize you’re doing it, but these kinds of mental gymnastics are unhealthy and stressful, making us feel unworthy and removing our attention from the present moment.
Here are four steps to help you stop worrying about what other people think, designed to help you maintain healthier and happier relationships with yourself and others.
1. Understand why you care.
In order to break the cycle, it’s important to understand where the energy is coming from. We’ve been socialized by a culture that sets norms for our belongingness. From birth, we’re taught we should act a certain way, dress a certain way, buy certain products, and adhere to certain ideologies to be liked and accepted. Social media brings the popularity contest to a whole new level, where how many friends we have, and how much they “like” us, is now publicly broadcast and recorded.
We are stressed and exhausted trying to manage our real and online personas to make sure that people continue to like and accept us. Many of us have spent our whole lives in this cycle, believing that a certain set of actions would bring us acceptance, only to repeatedly find that this is not the case. This is a form of social conditioning that we must now give ourselves permission to release!
2. Learn this mantra: What Other People Think About Me Is None of My Business!
The root of the problem with caring about what people think about you is that you’re attaching yourself to an outcome that you have absolutely no control over. That’s right, you have NO CONTROL over what people say, do and think about you! You can have the best intentions, or you can do something ridiculous: It doesn’t matter. You do not control the way people will respond, just as they do not control the way you respond to them.
The belief that you have any ownership of or control over people’s opinions about you comes from a place of ego. The reality is that what other people think about you is none of your business! Take a moment and begin to process and accept this perspective. See how the mantra makes you feel, and note the resistance you might feel from your ego. This is normal. (In fact, with all this time spent worrying and managing expectations, this mantra can feel downright strange at first!)
3. Direct the energy to something positive.
This new perspective frees up an immense amount of time and energy to live in the NOW and experience your authentic flow. It also breaks the cycle of conditioning that if you could only do X, say Y, and buy Z, people would like and accept you. Deep inside we know that true acceptance comes from within. So instead of caring so much if someone might be talking about you behind your back …
Breathe, repeat your mantra, and then direct the excess energy towards something positive, like following your passion and doing what you love! And if you don’t know what you’re passionate about, go and find out! Try a creative new activity, such making art, dancing, playing music, building something, or frolicking outside. You’ll be amazed at how happy and free you feel when you spend time doing what you love instead of worrying about what other people think!
4. Practice daily self-love and acceptance.
When you’re living and creating from a place of genuine love and acceptance, you will know that what other people do, say, and think about you really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. If you don’t like what they have to say about you, you can walk away knowing you are being true to yourself.
A regular, daily practice of self-love and self-acceptance is key for releasing attachment to outcomes and maintaining happy, healthy relationships. For many people, this journey begins with meditation, breath-work, yoga, eating healthy, spending time in nature, and creating art. No matter what you do, make sure to do something that reminds you how much you love yourself every day. As you feel more self-love and self-acceptance, you will attract more of it into your space.
This is a life-long mission, not an instant transformation that happens overnight, so please be kind and forgive yourself if you fall back into the cycle of worrying about what other people think. If you find yourself feeling attached to their opinions of you, just remember that they, like you, are walking a long journey of internal healing and growth, and that their attitudes are unique and personal to them … and truly none of your business!
Photo Credit: Stocksy.com
CONTRIBUTOR: Dr. Kelly Neff
The mind is a real magician. It often presents an illusion so real that we don’t even stop to consider if it’s true. When we define ourselves by our projections (projections created by our minds – the same tricky mind that likes lying to us), we lock ourselves in the fiction that we already know who we are based on fears, logic, conditioning and habits.
We’re limiting our true potential.
It’s time to examine your mind and ask yourself, “What lies am I telling myself that are holding me back?” Here’s a list of 10 that you should be aware of and avoid, to become the happiest version of yourself.
1. You are your feelings – you are your thoughts.
When you’re encompassed by a powerful emotion it can feel like it’s in every fiber of your being. But is this actually true? Are we our emotions?
If we were our feelings or thoughts, when they disappear, we should disappear too. But we don’t. Thoughts, feelings and emotions fade away like a weather system passing through. They are not you.
2. Risks aren’t worth it.
Many people are on a quest for safety, but the reality is that no one will never attain it, given the certainty of uncertainty. Everyone lives in a constant state of change. So whether you play it safe or take risks, the outcome isn’t guaranteed
Make choices that put you above everything and everyone else. Even your loved ones. After all, if you’re not taking care of yourself, your relationships will eventually suffer.
3. Happiness is attached to material success.
You can’t buy happiness. The things in life that truly make us happy are always free: love, laughter, the present moment, kindness, acceptance, gratitude and compassion.
4. You’re fat, ugly, short or dumb.
There will always be someone smarter, funnier, more successful or better looking, you will never live up to the projections you seek. Remember that life is impermanent, so putting your self worth in the basket of physical appearances always will let you down. Stop worrying, because you’ll only face an endless struggle of trying to maintain something that will always be out of grasp.
5. You’re a victim, or it’s never your fault.
Stop being the victim. Is anyone else really responsible for how you feel inside? We all love to blame; how convenient it is that we often overlook our own responsibility in our relationships.
Accepting fault will improve your credibility, increase learning, solidify relationships and you will appear trustworthy. It will give you strength, not weaken it.
6. You don’t need my friends.
Many times your friendships will take a back seat to other prioritizes, like your kids or work, but telling yourself you don’t need to make the effort is a big mistake.
Friends are good for your health. Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. Friends prevent loneliness, enhance happiness, reduce stress and give you companionship.
7. The past decides the future.
Stop trying to hold on to the past, and stop beating yourself up for your past actions. We all make mistakes. It’s the way we learn, but you are not your mistakes. The past is gone, and dwelling will only strip the present of joy. This is your life, right now!
8. You are alone.
When you feel lonely, sad or hurt you may mistakenly believe that you’re alone, that no one else has ever felt so low. The reality is that everyone in the entire universe at one time or another has felt these exact emotions. Just because you can’t always see the connection doesn’t mean it isn’t there, so take comfort in our interdependence.
9. You need to be perfect.
Find the balance between doing a good job and obsessing. Perfectionism causes stress, pessimism, obsessiveness, guilt, and the list goes on. Rememmber you are only human. Tackle life with a light playfulness. Stop taking yourself so seriously.
10. You need to worry about everything.
It is true that worrying strips you of all joy. Can we end suffering? I think we can, if we could only realize that all our suffering comes from our own unpleasant feelings. What if we changed our reactions and thoughts to outer problems. Just ask yourself, what if? It opens up a whole new world of possibilities.
Recognize your thoughts, and don’t be afraid to question them and redefine them.
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com
CONTRIBUTOR: Tina Williamson